Breastfeeding and Marital Teamwork
This is a Guest Post by Stacey Nagle, my friend and fellow CCL Fertility Awareness Based (FAB) Coach. Her piece is a re-print of a post in Couple to Couple League's forthcoming Postpartum Place, an on-line support and resource site for Catholic moms.
When my oldest child was about 8 months old, my mother-in-law asked me how much longer I was going to breastfeed. She dutifully informed me that she had only breastfed my husband and his brother until they were 8 months old. I told her I wasn’t sure but I did know we weren’t done yet!
Spending time with your family, especially during summer travels, can be a wonderful blessing. And maybe a curse. Have you experienced that family member who questions you with a tone of voice that implies dissatisfaction or disapproval of how you are parenting your child as I was by my mother-in-law? The breastfeeding comment from my mother-in-law wasn’t the last time she questioned what I was doing.
However, I learned two important things about myself and my relationships from that conversation. First, that my husband is my primary relationship on this earth and his love and support of me and our parenting was and remains vital. Not only did he support me in my breastfeeding journey, but he stepped up his work around the house, with our older kids when we had them later, and especially with his mother when he told her that we were doing what we felt was best for our family. Not just me but we. He’s been my rock all these years raising our children. We’ve been a parenting team. Go Team!
Second, I learned that I should listen to my heart and share my feelings with my husband. When our oldest was born and we struggled with breastfeeding, I cried every day for at least two weeks. My husband suggested that I reach out to the lactation consultant and go in for a live visit. I did just that. When the lactation consultant watched me nurse and told me that I was doing everything right, my confidence grew. I wasn’t a pro by any means, but at least now I knew I was on the right track.
I’ve found that if I'm not sure how things are going or if I'm not sure I’m on the right path, it helps when I pray about it and tell my husband everything on my mind. Even just saying my thoughts out loud help me. After my husband knows what I am thinking and how I am feeling, and then he shares his thoughts and feelings with me. This process has helped us through many years and was especially helpful for when it came to discussions of being open to another child this cycle or not. We didn’t necessarily even have to say those words, we were already on the same page. So, during any summer travel, enjoy your time with your family and possibly even your extended family. But cherish every day with your spouse.